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Friday, May 28, 2010

Friends?

I attended Sex & the city premiere a couple of days ago with Raine and I have lots to say.



When I was watching the movie, I felt so envious of them. Not because of their money, husbands, looks, whatever. It was because they had something which I feel that I don't have, a bunch of girlfriends who will be there for you no matter what, who will accept you for whatever you are.



*spoilers ahead*

1) When Carrie kissed Aiden, she ran back into the suite to find all her girlfriends and she said she needed all of them. All of them, including Samantha who was in the bathtub applying face mask, put down whatever they were doing just to listen to her talk! Where can I find friends like that?

2) During the part when Carrie said her passport was missing, I could imagine it happening it to me and it wont be the same as how it turned out for her.

For her:
All of them are rushing to the airport to catch their flight.
Carrie found out her passport is missing and remembered she left it at the shoe stall in the market. She asked if Miranda could accompany her. Miranda said "Of course I would!", and so did the rest of the girls she didn't asked. Isn't that how friends are supposed to be?

For me, it'll turn out like this:
My girlfriends would most probably say: "orh then you go back take lor we go to the airport first"
or
maybe if i insisted, they would come along but i'd be sure to hear reluctance and grumbles "why you never check your passport earlier. If i can't catch the plane you are gonna pay for my next one."

It really did turn out like that for me most of the time.

You know how they say: "At times of down, the people who are there for you are your true friends."

Really? I beg to differ.

When I'm down, anyone can help even if they aren't true friends.
Let me put a scenario:

Me and my friends are holidaying and we are not rushing anywhere to catch the plane or any other plans. I'm sure they would offer to accompany me to retrieve my missing passport. It's like, "it wont hurt to help a friend since I have nothing to do anyway".

BUT

If we all are rushing for our planes, it'll be a totally different matter. Cos to the friend, if she helps me, she's gonna risk her own plane. To her, her plane is more important than a friend. That's when you see whether someone is true to you or not - when she puts her own convenience before you. There are exceptions that I can understand though, like if she's very poor and cannot afford another plane ticket/her grandma had an heart attack and she needs to be there asap/etc. If this was the case, I'd never allow her to go with me.


It's like 'Rich man gives poor man = generous' , but it doesnt prove anything.
'Poor man gives poor man = truly generous' Apply it on everything else in your life.


Oh another example is voting contests.
I recently got into this:
http://project.omy.sg/ybloggist/vote.html, and I'm quite warmed in the heart by some friends who helped to plug it in their twitter.

From this contest, I learnt something. Most friend would help to vote if it's just pressing a button, because it doesn't hurt and it wont take much time. But when people find out they have to register and log in just to vote (aka inconvenience+waste time), they stop trying to vote. Most of my readers and friends are like that :( Why. I always vote for my friends when they ask me to, no matter how long the registration part takes.

I wonder if there is anyone out there who would go out of their way to help. I've only met a small number, and I'm always pleasantly touched when they do that.

I don't know how many of you here understand what I'm saying above. I just want to say I don't think true friends should be calculative with each other and should accept each other for whoever they are. It's not easy you know, cos I haven't really found anyone like that before. Perhaps even myself, as much as I'm trying, is unable to follow what I preach.

Honestly, I myself won't go to extremes just to comfort any friend who fell out of love - I can be on the phone with her, but I don't think I would immediately take a day off from work, buy chocolates and comfort her at her house, although I think it'd be nice if someone did that for me. Or maybe because I haven't found my clique for me to want to do that to. I'm always envious when I see other friends doing all this for their best friend.

When will people start being unconditional in giving? I am not, although I really wish that I could be.

Another thing is, I don't understand why friends would have misunderstandings with each other. If you had known her for so many years, could a single incident make you judge her and overthrow the good impression you had of her totally?

Perhaps people have different perceptions of friendships. And I'm trying to accept that, as much as I want them to accept me for what kind of girl I am.


I have friends to have fun with me.
But I don't have any to share my unhappiness with.

I don't think anyone would feel a difference even if I left.


***

update: im sorry if u r a friend and u r hurt by this entry. It wasn't intended to be a spiteful one. Of cos i know there are some friends who had been very nice to me n i appreciate every little small gestures. It was just unfortunate that we didnt end up very close, thus i dun feel like i have a clique to go through every single thing with. This is my blog, thus a true record of my feelings.

update2: I just didn't know how I could put what I want to say into words ok. You people are all reading my intentions wrong and taking a stab at where I'm most down. I don't know how to explain what I had meant already. People who knows will know, and people who dont, will never know.

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