Saturday, September 11, 2010

Relationships and mind games

Let me share with you girls an article I chanced upon while searching something for a friend. I think it's quite useful for every girl to know.

Ever felt like your boyfriend is starting to lose intertest in you or taking you for granted? Playing the jealousy card is just one of the ways to turn this issue around.

Credit: WikiHow

1. Make sure he has feelings for you. Jealousy only works if the guy has at least some feelings for you. If he's totally not interested, you'll have a very hard time making him jealous.

2. Be active. Do things you like to do. If you're busy and having fun so that you don't always have time for a guy, he'll start to get a little jealous. This technique is especially effective on ex-boyfriends. It shows that you're going on with your life and having a better time without him. Even if this technique fails to inspire jealousy in the guy, you'll be better off.

3. Flirt with other guys. Nothing drives guys crazy so much as when a girl they're interested in or involved with flirts with other guys. Many men are incredibly competitive by nature, and if other guys appear to like you, even a guy who wouldn't notice you before may take interest.

4. Date other guys. Actually dating other guys takes flirting to a whole new level, and it will do the same with the guy's jealousy. Especially if you have just started dating a guy or if a guy has just dumped you, getting out and seeing other people is a great way to keep your independence and to make the guy you want try harder to get you or, in the case of an ex, really regret losing you. If you're in a committed relationship, however, going on dates is usually unacceptable and may cause your boyfriend to break up with you, for good reason.

5. Maintain guy friends.
Even if you don't actually go on dates, it's good to have some guy friends that you hang out with. Even if you're in a committed relationship, there's nothing wrong with having male friends, but when you hang out with them your boyfriend will probably be at least a little jealous and nervous. Just block him out completely, and then he'll get really jealous. Act like you dont care about him. Almost like I have better things to do attitude.

6. Make him sweat a little. If you're always available for him, you'll lose some of your mystery, and mystery can create jealousy. For example, don't always answer his calls. When you call him back a couple hours later--you definitely should call him back if you're interested--be vague about what you were doing. Say you were out with a friend or your were just busy. Just by not answering the phone, you may make him wonder what you're doing and who you're with. In the same vein, if he calls you to ask if you want to do something, once in a while it's good to just say that you have other plans, even if you don't really. If he's your boyfriend, you'll probably want to tell him what you were doing so that he doesn't actually think you were out with another guy, but from the time he calls to the time you call him back, he'll be wondering!

Don't let on that you're trying to make him jealous. If he suspects that the things you're doing might be aimed at making him jealous, your plan will backfire. If he asks if you're trying to make him jealous, act like you have no idea what he means, or, if you're trying to get back at an ex, tell him how incredibly self centered he is, to think that just because you're flirting with other guys, it's because of him.

Warnings (MUST READ)

1. Jealousy affects some guys in a very bad way, causing them to become even more angry. Be very cautious about making a guy too jealous, especially if he seems to be taking it very hard.

2. On the other hand, some guys respond to jealousy by just giving up. If you're trying to get a guy interested in you and you make him jealous, he might just decide you're not worth his trouble.

3. Remember, when you try to make a man jealous, you are playing a game. Be prepared for him to turn the tables on you. He may go out and spend time with female friends. This attempt might lead to cheating and can cause pain for everyone.

4. If you try to make a man jealous by spending time with other men, the guy you like may interpret this to mean you are no longer interested in him. Despite having feelings for you, he may take this as a "hint" to back off and leave you alone. You may view his inaction as not being interested in you.

5. Sometimes, a man can feel unwanted, which may make him uninterested in you. Be careful not to go overboard.

All these tips generally work for most of my past relationships and I've seen it worked on other girl friends. But sometimes, you might just get a boyfriend like mine who is definitely going to react to it differently. All the points in the "warning" part applies to my boyfriend, so I can never ever try the tips because I'll definitely end up losing him!

Make sure you know what kind of guy your boyfriend is before attempting anything. Of course, I think that a best relationship is the kind that both sides could sit down and talk about things and not having to turn to mind-games. (Who in their right mind would like mind-games?? I'd rather be able to be honest to my boyfriend than play such tiring games with him) However, these cases are rather rare and if you are in a relationship that takes a more mature approach to solving problems, then cherish it :)

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