Friday, April 25, 2008

Im in blogging mood!

Im feeling all messed up in my head but im trying very hard to remain happy and oblivious to whatever problems that i know is going brew up sooner or later.

It's like standing on top of a volcano knowing that the bursting date is looming near, but still wishing that it wont happen. The worst thing is, i can't get down the volcano. What's done, is done. It was a mistake i made in the past, and i feel extremely stupid about it.

Now let's just wait for someone to dig about this dirty piece of news and bomb it right at my face, get me in all sorts of trouble with my parents, and then everything will be over, maybe.

Im still wishing for a miracle.

I hate feeling restricted like this.... Sometimes i wished im a orphan so that i can do anything i want. And if i do something wrong, i want to be responsible for it myself. I dont want to have to account it to my parents.

SINGAPORE FLYER with boyfriend!

Both of us didn't have lunch cos we thought we would leave home early, but after i dressed up, make up, drag drag drag, it was already 3.30pm by the time we reached singapore flyer. If you ever go there, try this restaurant! The food is fantastic. Love the cosy ambience too.

vanilla drink.

I love buffalo wings.

boyfriend's crayfish pasta was very good too. Loved.

THIS SEAFOOD BAKEDRICE HAS TO BE THE BEST I EVER ATE! With prawns, crayfish, mussels (i dont eat this), sotong and cheese! I forgot if there was fish.

boyfriend's green apple drink.

The view outside the window.

Complimentry mango dessert. Not yummy.

Our little cosy corner.

Getting into the capsule~
The capsule above us was quite crowded, but lucky mine had only 6 other people.

The cars look like toy cars from above. hahaha.

Saw golfcourses that took up way too much space! We should use those space for other more meaningful stuff -.-

When he told me he want to bring me to the Singapore Flyer, i asked him what we should do during the 30 mins ride.

He said this: "Kiss for 30 minutes! :D "

I immediately replied something like this: "DONT WANT!! So tiring. You kiss yourself. "

In the end we didn't kiss for 30 minutes. But we kissed during the last 30 seconds. That's more sweet.

our picture! I look nice in it but too dark.
If you asked me whether it's romantic or not, i think it's not.. , since you are not alone with your partner in the capsule. And the view isn't that fantastic. And kinda boring since it turns so SLOWLY that you would ask whether it is even moving or not.

Saw a wedding couple that day. I was saying that after that they can have sex in the air :D Interesting! But boyfriend says each capsule have camera one. Chey.

Remember when i said that my boyfriend and i admitted that our feelings faded, but still trying hard to find it back?

Then after that i said i think our relationship is back on track?

Well, im now feeling quite confused about my feelings towards him. Sometimes, i miss him and wish he is by my side. Sometimes, i feel so comfortable in his arms. But then, sometimes i dont miss him and i dont feel like replying his messages. I dont think of sacrificing my other plans to spend time with him and sometimes i struggle away from his hugs.

I dont know why.

Part of me still love him.
But the another part of me dont feel happy with him anymore. I feel like i want to be single. I feel like i want freedom. I dont look forward to meeting him at all.

He has been treating me very good recently. His feelings are back, and back much more than how much he loved me in the past. He's trying so hard to win me back, to spend time with me, and other things he wouldn't do in the past. I see his jealousy when i prefer going out with my other guy friends, i see him heartbroken when i turn away from him. I feel sad to see him this way but i can't control myself.

Let's just wish this is a passing phase and i'll love him completely again soon.

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