I am very particular about fairness. I always attributed this characteristic to my horoscope - Libra, the balance. Whatever I do, I weigh the options and have to justify every choice I make. I often speak out when I feel unfairness, because I just cannot let it be. I realize that it was making me very unhappy and often, I tell myself to remember pure thoughts of love, kindness and positivity. I told myself that life will be good to me and protect me on behalf of myself. Sometimes I succeed in doing so, sometimes I don't, and many times dwell in unhappiness over unfairness. These moments usually pass by very quickly, but I did notice this trait was making me upset quite a lot. I felt like I didn't belong anywhere. There was imperfection in every aspect of my life, and I had no control over things.
I went to google for ways to accept unfairness and chanced upon this article by Lori Deschene. I would like to share some of the paragraphs.
(Full article here: http://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-deal-with-unfairness-and-change-the-things-you-can/)
“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” ~Mary Engelbreit
The world would be a better place if people don't try to create conflict. Many times I looked at the miseries happening around the world and told myself to be content. The world is has enough natural disasters on its own, why do man want to generate more that could be avoided?
"Still, despite knowing this and making a conscious effort to change, I still feel an instinctively strong and irate response to perceived unfairness at times."
I realize that I myself was adding fire to conflicts too. While trying to prove my points, I may have unintentionally blown up a matter that was tiny on hindsight. Sometimes, I wonder if it would be better if I was not so strong-headed and accepted the world the way it is. Why couldn't I be more nonchalant towards life's little matters?
"I longed to not be so emotional. I wanted to be released from all the conflict in my life—to not react to other people’s words and anger—to feel serenity in my heart." - Marilyn Briant
Perhaps I really am not open-hearted enough, and too calculative. I remember that at one point in time, I felt negative about sharing. The more I shared, the more I lost. I remembered that whenever I shared something good, my share gets taken away. So I learnt to protect my share that I earned. I resented that my good deeds are always not recognized, or sometimes, even accused exactly opposite of what I have been trying to do. But the world is unfair and I cannot change that. I can only learn to accept it. I need to believe that life will look over me, and protect me on behalf of myself.
"You can’t create positive change from a negative mindset. You have to heal your pain before you can set out to heal the world. And you have to stop seeing yourself as a victim if you want to access your personal power."
"What’s important is that we try to move beyond them so we don’t let the things we can’t control take control of us."
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