Monday, January 18, 2010

I'm having monday blues. Argh.

For the past 2 days,
the "life is sucky, life is difficult" mentality kept popping into my mind.

I dont know why, but im trying hard to keep it out of my mind cos i dont want to be miserable.

I guess it has something to do with one of my nightmares and some chatting with fiona. I was telling her about accidents on planes, on amusement rides, on holiday buses, on cable cars, on ferris wheels, etc. On the same night, i dreamt of a plane crashing onto the mrt platform i was on and i had a close brush with the huge plane wing flying towards me and then bouncing on the floor beside. I could feel the deep impact in my dreams lor! Tsk.

And that dream, made me afraid of how my death was going to be like. I know, it's damn stupid to worry about this right?? I think im not afraid of death itself; im more afraid of how hurtful it's going to be. Think fires, drownings, etc. I hate that death is so unpredictable.

And then, there is another issue which i dont wish to reveal here.

Because of that issue, I wanted to escape to a little secluded island, without internet, without contact with the outside world. Start all over again, have a simple life (with bf and the family of course, i wont abandon them here one luh. haha).

But i know i can't. I'm very much a city girl, i cannot abandon technological advances and conveniences.

Ok, maybe i can migrate to somewhere else. But that also means i have to abandon Singapore and also my blog if i wanted to really start over anew. That means i have to start worrying all over again about whether there will be earthquakes, tsunamis, wars, gunmens, bombs, etc in that country. Although i've always wanted to go on holidays to different countries around the world, Singapore is still my top choice to be home.

You see lah, the more i think, the more worries appear.

Shall stop thinking too much.

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