Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Hubby doesn't like me to speak vulgarities, and so he has banned me from spouting any form of vulgarities, not even 'ta-ma-de'. Haha. Okay, i shall TRY. I wonder if he allows me to say "damn" though. Given my english standard, i couldn't find a nicer word for "damn", unless you want me to say "wahlao", which i think is even less classy than "damn".

People have been asking if Gary is my new date. So what if he is? So what if my relationship with Shunlai has just ended? It's not like Gary is a new boy i randomly picked out from the streets of Orchard Road. For goodness sake, i've known Gary since i was 15, and we've even dated for afew days before. It's just that we didn't contact each other for 1 year plus, and now he feels more like a new boyfriend than an old date. Who says people can't fall in love after falling out of love? Yes, i WAS mourning over my breakup with Shunlai for several days, and thought that i could not accept another guy so quickly. But ever since the day i met up with Gary after the breakup between me and Shunlai, I AM happy. The feelings i had for Gary when i was 15 rushed back to me, and suddenly i feel like being with him all day long. I don't know what it is about Gary that attracts me to him. He's not handsome, he doesn't have six-packs, and he isn't tall. It's just the feeling i have when he's taking care of me.

My feelings towards Shunlai in the past was different. I didn't have the heart-pumping feeling whenever i'm with him, but i felt very secure and attached to him. We felt like husband and wife instead of little teenage couples. It was time that built up the bond between me and Shunlai. he was my longest date, and of course it would be difficult to forget the times we spent together.

But now, i feel really happy with Gary and i want to start over. I dont wish to mull over the past anymore. There's a torn between Me and Shunlai and i know that part cannot be stitched to perfectness anymore.

If someone has a chance to be happy, would someone choose to be unhappy over the past instead of accepting the happiness?

I still care about Shunlai, as a friend. I really hope he would succeed in his career since it's his wish. I think i would feel really sour when he gets a new date. Afterall, he used to be mine for almost 6 months. However i cannot be so selfish to deprive him from happiness. Boy, be happy. You look better when you smile. That's one of the things i liked most about you.

Gary, i'm serious about this relationship and i'm making a risk to put all my heart into you, although i should know what kind of person you were in the past. Or maybe you still are. I choose to trust you, and i hope you are true this time. Stop negative thoughts and stop listening to what others are saying, because it's gonna spoil everything.

( found out recently that some of Shunlai's friends are Gary's friends. It's a small small world, isn't it? Bad news though. haha. )

Lastly, i'm not a flirt and i know it. Ask people who having been ignored by me on msn continously. I don't socialise as much as you think i do. I'm very much contented in counting on closed ones around me. Ask fiona. Although i squeal whenever i see some handsome hunks, i don't change heart easily when i'm in a relationship.

Alright. Enough about all this talk. I had a dream that night, and the scenario was something like this: I was with a friend at the mrt station waiting for the train. I took out 'Clorets mini tablets', a minty sweet that i HAVE TO take everyday, if not i'll feel uncomfortable. A policeman walked towards me, asking me to throw away the sweet in my mouth, and he said fiercely: " no drinking and eating in the mrt station!" After that, he wrapped one of his arm around my neck and forced me to take out the sweet. I looked up at the policeman like some little girl sticking to the chest of a giant. I found out he was actually smoking, and smoking right at my face! I thought smoking is not allowed in the mrt station?? In the dream, i felt like giving a punch to the policeman, spit out my sweet, put it into his mouth, then accuse him for breaking two laws. Eating sweets and smoking in the mrt station.

Well, in the end i didn't do it. I woke up to someone's sms reminding me that i overslept and is late for work. Haha. I wonder if i would really do that in real life.

I received two emails from MayZhee regarding the post we both blogged about each other. I'm lazy to bother about her, but i should be nice and do what she request me to do, so well, i just printscreen the email, and if you guys want to read it, click on the picture below to see full view.

If you know me, my interest-timespan is really really short. I may be interested in rebutting you this minute, but my interest would turn to someone else within afew days. Yea, so well, the 'mayzhee' topic is not going to appear in my blog ever again. I hope. It's not worth my attention and I have no interest in writing about her anymore. I dont even care if she likes me or not after this incident. If she starts to like my blog, good. *claps*. If she doesn't, i've no rights to change the way she thinks.

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