Sunday, March 8, 2009

You Can't Please Everyone.
From Aesop's Fables: The Man, The Boy, and The Donkey

A man and his son were once going with their Donkey to market. As they were walking along by its side a countryman passed them and said: “You fools, what is a Donkey for but to ride upon?”

So the Man put the Boy on the Donkey and they went on their way. But soon they passed a group of men, one of whom said: “See that lazy youngster, he lets his father walk while he rides.”

So the Man ordered his Boy to get off, and got on himself. But they hadn't gone far when they passed two women, one of whom said to the other: “Shame on that lazy lout to let his poor little son trudge along.”

Well the Man didn't know what to do, but at last he took his Boy up before him on the Donkey. By this time they had come to the town, and the passersby began to jeer and point at them. The Man stopped and asked what they were scoffing at. The men said: “Aren't you ashamed of yourself for overloading that poor Donkey of yours—you and your hulking son?”

The man and Boy got off and tried to think what to do. They thought and they thought, till at last they cut down a pole, tied the Donkey's feet to it, and raised the pole and the Donkey to their shoulders. They went along amid the laughter of all who met them till they came to Market Bridge, when the Donkey, getting one of his feet loose, kicked out and caused the Boy to drop his end of the pole. In the struggle the Donkey fell over the bridge, and his fore-feet being tied together, he was drowned.

“That will teach you,” said an old man who had followed them:

“Please all, and you will please none.”


And quoted from,
"You may be generally an amiable and pleasant person. You may generally get along well with most people. But somehow, there is that one family member, that one friend, that one colleague, who doesn't take to you very well.

This might disappoint you, sadden you, or even disillusion you. Don't allow it to.
Every single person is unique. Every single relationship is different. Somewhere, somehow, there will be people who don't quite get along.

If you allow yourself to adjust your personal values, to change the person that you are, just to win over that one person or few people, you run the risk of adversely affecting the good relationships you do have.

Be positive. Focus on your happy relationships. At the same time, accept that there will be ones that don't go so well. Whatever you say or do, whoever you are, whatever character or personality you have, you won't be able to please everyone."

I've long learnt to remember this.
During my years of blogging, i've received many many comments advising me this and that. And when i dont follow them, some people say i dont take constructive comments. But when so many opposing comments comes, which one do i follow? I do have the rights to choose right? I might be wrong for not listening to your advice, but i'll learn from my mistake eventually.

And then came the unreasonable kind of commentors, who would never be happy about whatever im doing no matter what i do. Everything i do is something wrong to them. How do i please these people?

Another group of commentors are the kinds who push the limits. Like asking me to do "A", and when i've completed that, they put me down again and say i lack "B". When i finished "B", they say i dont have "C".... When will it ever stop?

That's why nowsadays i dont feel much while accepting comments anymore. I used to have butterflies in my stomach whenever i open up my comments moderation url because i dont know what bad or good comments lies in there. But now, im already like immune to the comments. It's because i know these people will never stop no matter how much i change.

Now when friends tell me things like "hey, your comment box got that person very rude hor? he say you blahblahblah... " And i'll go: "Huh? Got meh??" because i've forgotten everything.


You might say that im living in denial, but this is not. It's truth that there'll always be a bunch of haters out there, and i accept that fact. I just dont want to care because there'll be no end to it. I'll just try becoming a better person for the benefit of myself and loved ones. Not just to please unknown people out there.

My english is bad, but hey what's the big deal about it? My readers aren't here to read PERFECT ENGLISH. They're here to read about my feelings and life. As long as they can understand, it's fine isn't it? If you can't understand, or feel that it pricks your eye to read grammar errors, then my blog isn't suitable for you. I think you would be glad to leave as well.

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