Sunday, June 1, 2008

Im finally getting a taste of "real life" and "real people".
Where everything and everyone is not so sweet and nice.

- - - - - - - - -

Sometimes i hate the fact that im someone of "no substance".
I can't even think of any reason why i will be successful. Like for example, some people might have the gift of gab, some people have the to-die-for looks, some people are thick-skinned enough, some can sing, some can dance, some have superb figure, etc.

But for me, i can't think of any area where i excel in. In school, the only subject which i felt was easy and a real pleasure is Arts lesson. I can only draw. All i can do is draw. But how far can i get just drawing? I can't even call it a talent.

I have lots of ambitions and dreams, but i can only acheive them if i had a "gui ren" to bring me to that position. I can never achieve it with my own "substance".

Im going out of singapore for afew days next week, and im looking forward to it. I love going on holidays because it brings me out of my original life. When im out of singapore, i feel that im not Esther. Im someone with no worries, and that's when i enjoy myself the most.

I wish i could give up all i had in Singapore and start over again in somewhere faraway.

Went to this restaurant stuck away at a corner in Bugis Street with Boyfriend and his friend Victor.


You can design your own pasta. You can choose what you want to include in your pasta, the type of pasta, the sauce, etc.

Boyfriend and Victor ate their own designed pasta but i wasn't interested.

For side dishes, they had this! This is super good~! Very big hot sausages.
Victor's rubber band beef. Haha.

My yummy ham and cheese sandwich.

Dessert. Waffle not nice. Icecream nice :)

I've posted this song on my blog before but im posting it again because suddenly i love the lyrics alot. Here's a different version from what i posted before:

Ive Never Been To Me - Charlene

Hey lady, you lady
cursing at your life

you're a discontented mother
and a regimented wife
I have no doubt
you dream about the things you never do
but I wish someone had talked to me like I wanna talk to you

Oh, I've been to Georgia and California and anywhere I could run
Took the hand of a preacher man
and we made love in the sun
But I ran out of places and friendly faces
Because I had to be free
I've been to paradise but I've never been to me...

Please lady please lady
don't just walk away
Cause I have this need to tell you
why I'm all alone today

I can see so much of me
still living in your eyes
won't you share a part
of a weary heart that has lived a million lives

Oh, I've been to Nice and the isle of Greece
when I sipped champagne on a yacht
I moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo
and showed them what I've got
I've been undressed by kings
and I've seen some things that a woman ain't s'pose to see
I've been to paradise but I've never been to me...

Hey, you know what paradise is?
It's a lie
a fantasy we created about people and places
as we like them to be
but you know what truth is?
it's that little baby you're holding
and it's that man you fought with this morning
the same one you are gonna make love to tonight
that's truth that's love

Sometimes I've been to crying for unborn children
that might have made me complete
but I, I took the sweet life
I never knew I'd be bitter from the sweet

I spent my life exploring
the subtle whoring
that costs too much to be free
hey lady I've been to paradise
but I've never been to me...

I've been to paradise but I've never been to me...

No comments :

Post a Comment