Inner Thoughts

Just some thoughts regarding love that I have been thinking about for some time.

I feel that, when a woman looks for a life partner, the most important factor should be the man's core character. These are the principles and values that the man has towards life; for example, kindness, conscience, generosity, responsibility and others.

People may change due to environment, age, and other external factors but I think that the base of a man will never change. The base is easily observed upon first few months of interactions and you will noticed that although there might be slight changes in habits and way of doing things over the years, a tinge of the base will always be there.

In contrast, the "external" circumstances surrounding a man should never be the main consideration because environment and circumstances change. What's the point of a man who is educated, holds a stable career, has property assets, etc when he is a man without conscience or with selfish heart? When disaster breaks, who do you think he will care about first? As compared, a generous man will always be generous be it during poor or wealthy times. Of course, I am not saying a flawed man cannot be a good lover. I don't care if a man is selfish/stingy/unkind/fierce towards anyone else as long as he puts his partner on higher regard and cares enough to be less of a selfish/stingy/unkind/fierce person to her specifically.

Sometimes I think the most important point in a relationship, is when both parties are 100% sure each other is THE ONE and both parties cherish and treasure each other. Actually, I think that most minor flaws can be disregarded as long as a woman knows that the man is in love with her.

Also, another thing. Love can be shown in many ways, and every man has different ways of showing love. I believe in the statement "Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have." BUT, I don't think that this is an excuse for lack of affections. This is difficult to explain but I think any one can feel how much a man loves you through how much he makes an effort to TRY - it can be through words or actions but it cannot be nothing at all. Any man who sincerely loves his partner enough would at least try his best to ensure that his partner is happy with him. Some woman are just happy with her man showing affections through actions like helping with the chores. Some woman are easily satisfied with a hug or a miss you text. Some men may think flowers are a waste of money but to his partner it may mean that he has been thinking about her. It takes so little to makes her happy and if a man still use the above statement as an excuse and refuse to fufil something he knows that can so easily satisfy or make his partner happy, then it's obviously clear that he doesn't care enough about the relationship. (This only applies to scenarios where the requests are already clearly expressed lah. Some girls don't do that and I think that's very annoying because it's very unreasonable to expect the guy to know what you want if you didn't even mentioned it before.)

In a relationship, you think about what means more to the other party, not what means more to you. For example, if your girlfriend likes pink and you like blue. Do you buy her a pink or blue mug? You may think the blue mug is prettier but if you are buying a present for someone, hey, shouldn't it be catered towards the other person?