Thursday, September 15, 2011

Two types of backstabbers

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Just some thoughts after chatting with a friend some time back.

It's saddening how gossip works. It is one thing to be backstabbed by a hypocrite friend who act all fine and accepting with you, and then turn around and exaggerates your flaws to other people. It's another thing to have a hypocrite friend who pretends to like you, and then CONJURES stories to other people.

The former, is very common. I see lots of people like that. I won't say that I'm not a hypocrite. I do act nice around people I do not like, only to avoid unnecessary trouble. Most of the time, I guess I just keep them at arms length and still be polite as long as I'm not provoked. What's the point of creating drama when the other party has done nothing to directly hurt you right?

I'm not all angel. I do get irritated at friends and voice it out to other friends. But very seldom and it only happens when I'm triggered and angry. I do join in gossip sessions and put in a pinch of my opinions... Like any other normal person do. BUT, I only say the truth. If I strongly feel that someone is bitching untrue things about a particular person, I'd speak up for this person. But usually I only gossip with closer friends. I don't trust that other people would keep the 'discussion' in the circle. I pride myself to always keep secrets for other people. I mean, what's the point of leaking out secrets? She will eventually find out if you are the only one she spoke to, right? That being said, I seldom tell my own secrets to other people.

If you ever suspect that I backstabbed you, do confront and ask me. If I did talk bad about you, I'd say yes I did. I'd rather you clear things up with me than continue to think that I did when I actually did not.

This kind of gossip is still fine... Wait till you read the next part.

The other kind of backstabbers. The kind that spin tales out of air. Wah, this kind power. You can be super nice, sincere and flawless but this person can just anyhow create a story and spread it. Then boom, your image is down the drain - FOR NOTHING. You cannot control nor protect yourself from this kind of people and it's best for you to stay insignificant in this person's eyes. Isn't it terrifying? There are lots of people in this world that I'd rather not have been acquainted with; But how would you know until you already know the person?

Also, this is the reason why I try not to get myself influenced by gossips told to me by other people. I always think it'll be more fair if I get to know the person myself and judge base on my own experience. If you are prejudiced against someone, no matter how nice she is, you'll think negatively of her. Remember this. Be fair to everyone you meet. Start from zero and plus minus from there.

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