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Friday, November 27, 2015

真真假假、假假真真。

People around me know that I dislike fake people, but even more, I dislike people who keep harping on "being real" because I also think these people are damn fake. I mean, real is real lah, if you make a conscious effort to "be real" it's not real at all please. Very hypocritical and self righteous.

I don't even mind fake people all that much if they are natural at it. You know how some people are so fake, it becomes their real personality? Ya that kind I don't really mind, cos it becomes the real them, it's not fake anymore.

It's like how some girls try so hard to act cute and backfire but some really act cute until it becomes part of them and they hardly have to make any effort to act cute. These kind, they actually turn out quite likeable and cute even though actually they are also acting cute, except that it probably is habitual rather than purposely one. Do you all understand what I'm trying to say? Haha.

The ones that I really don't like are the ones that are dishonestly scheming. I feel alright about 'scheming people' who are open about it but I don't like 'scheming people' who act all innocent and kind and nice when actually they are pure evil. And the worse thing is most people can't see through them!!! I think I see people quite accurate one, cos usually if I dislike someone, I just keep quiet and confirm few weeks/months later, everybody else will feel the same way. I've learnt to be patient because bad people will always reveal themselves.


So anyway, I wanna rant a little about something that has to do with "being fake". Not sure if I will be contradictory to my above paragraph but this is what I really feel lah.

For years, I've often been marked as unapproachable and cold by people not close to me. Thing is, I'm not one of those naturally friendly and upbeat people. There's something very tiring about having to constantly fake a smile to someone I hardly know, or find something to say to someone I'm really not keen to talk to.

Friends know that I'm the absolute opposite once I've warmed up, and it doesn't take long at all if I decided that I like you as a person, or if we have common topics, or if you are easy to talk to!

But I don't think I have any obligations to be exceptionally friendly to people who I don't intend to be friends with. Hey I'm here to get things done, I'm not here to make friends (now I finally know why those girls on reality shows say this!!!). I can be polite and nice but I don't find the need to go the extra mile and hehe haha with them and ask them about their day or what they ate or act yi ge wah your dress so nice. -.-"

It's very tiring to act friendly you know.

If I wanna talk to someone or ask something, I prefer to directly get to the point instead of adding extra nonsense and ask someone about their day when I'm not really interested to know. Or act like I like their dress and tell them their dress is nice when it's not. I don't want to waste my energy on these pleasantries.

If it's for work/for customers/for clients/etc, I can fake, because it's only for a short while and I don't have to put in emotions or maintain the energy in the long run. But if these are people I see all the time, how to keep the fakeness going?

It doesn't help that I really look moody when I not smiling. Hahaha. I remember I used to work in a position where it was essential for me to look happy and I found it so difficult cos I think it looks extremely awkward and forced if I were to purposely smile at everyone who walk pass.

Hahahaha. Maybe the problem lies with me uh. So that time I really envied my colleague who looked nice and approachable even when in a foul mood. Luckily in the end I went back to working backend and my face wasn't a problem any more. Lol.

So anyway I initially ranted this entry on my Dayre because someone said I look unfriendly. I do agree but the thing is, the person who complained about me, was someone I made an effort to chitchat with recently. Wahlao which part unfriendly??

Anyway, it doesn't really matter whether friendly or not, because even the friendliest and chummiest one with them also kena talked about behind. Do this also wrong, do that also wrong, might as well do what you are happy with.

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